I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
As shirtless as possible
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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