That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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