fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
