I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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