i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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