Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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