I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
