My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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