it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
