no, he came in my armpit
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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