I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
