Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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