Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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