the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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