Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
