Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Be still, my beating vagina.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
