so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
