I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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