addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
handjob tips. give me some.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What a dumb baby whore.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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