hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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