Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
