It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize