Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
