We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
