So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
