Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
