u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize