How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
