love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
