Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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