That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I will pee on everything he values.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
