I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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