We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
