sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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