you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just had sex on a roof
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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