why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
