yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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