If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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