I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
