i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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