Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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