I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
