have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
