His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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