Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
