I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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