He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
