yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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