Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
