would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
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And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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