mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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