I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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