I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
