I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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