Only a mothe r could love this liver
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
