So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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